Dan Nickelson

haiku

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

posted by dnickelson @ 7:38 PM 0 comments

illegal immigrants taking 'your' job?

posted by dnickelson @ 12:26 PM 0 comments

Microsoft disk

If you set a Microsoft disk in CD tray upsidedown, you can hear SATANIC VOICES.

But that isn't the worst, if you set it right way IT INSTALLS WINDOWS

posted by dnickelson @ 12:21 AM 0 comments

I'm not the pheasant plucker...

I'm not the pheasant plucker
just the pheasant plucker's mate
and I'm only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's late...

(i have a friend who plucks figs, now that I think about it)

posted by dnickelson @ 11:58 PM 0 comments

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless,
and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!


from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup

posted by dnickelson @ 11:58 PM 0 comments

On the other hand...

On the other hand, you have 5 different fingers

posted by dnickelson @ 12:23 PM 0 comments

busy

It's looks like I'm not doing very much, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy...

posted by dnickelson @ 12:21 PM 0 comments

misconceptions

I'll always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

posted by dnickelson @ 12:20 PM 0 comments

Some day we'll...

Some day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

posted by dnickelson @ 12:16 PM 0 comments

Theodore Roosevelt

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

posted by dnickelson @ 10:52 AM 0 comments